Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Foreign.
[00:00:08] You're listening to a recording from inside the members hub of the Whole Health Revolution. These episodes are taken from my live weekly coaching calls where members can join me in real time for honest conversations around health, nutrition, weight loss and sustainable lifestyle change. The Whole Health revolution is not about restriction extremes or quick fixes. There's no fad diets here. It's about building, building long lasting healthy habits that support your body. Whether your goal is weight loss, managing chronic health condition, improving your nutrition, maybe you want to balance your hormones or simply start feeling better in yourself. Now let's get stuck into today's episode.
[00:00:48] Hi and welcome to another episode of the Whole Health podcast. Now, I want to start by asking you something. If you had a block of chocolate or whatever your favourite treat food is sitting in your cupboard right now, would you feel relaxed about that? Or would part of you be thinking, thinking, oh, you know, I better not open that because once I start, I won't stop. Well, if you've ever felt that way, then this episode is definitely for you because I want to help you rebuild your trust with food.
[00:01:16] Over the years, I've come across so many people who feel like they can't trust themselves around food. They'll say things like, I can't have chocolate in the house or if I open a packet of biscuits, it's all over, I'll eat the whole pack. Or maybe I've been good or I've been bad. That's so common. So many clients come to me and say, I've been bad this week. And I'm like, no, no you haven't. You might have eaten some foods that weren't on your list, but you haven't been bad. And that lack of inner trust creates an exhausting cycle. You start with restriction, which then leads to cravings, which then often leads to overeating. And then what happens? You get guilt and then it's back to that restriction again, and so on and so on and the cycle just repeats. And it was a cycle that I was stuck in for years. But I can tell you that self trust with food can be rebuilt. I know because I've had to do it myself. I struggled with bulimia when I was in my teens and my thoughts around food were chaotic. Honestly, my brain was just emotional and completely out of control when it came to food. But over time, through mindset, work and also self awareness, I've completely changed my relationship with food and now I can pretty much eat anything without that noise going on because no foods to me are off limits. I can have anything I want to eat, doesn't matter what it is. And I say that most of my diet is whole foods because that's what makes me feel good. Over the years, I've discovered what foods make me feel good and what foods don't. But if I want a chocolate or dessert or what have you, I will enjoy it and I will move on. And that freedom is amazing once you get there. It's an amazing feeling. And it's what I want for every single person who struggles like I did for many years.
[00:02:58] You see, many diet approaches focus on rules and discipline and restriction. And that is exactly what I want to break.
[00:03:06] Because long term success comes from something much, much deeper than that. It comes from listening to your body again, learning to listen to your body's cues.
[00:03:15] So approaches like intuitive eating emphasize reconnecting with that internal signal such as hunger and fullness, rather than based around rigid food rules. And when people can learn to trust these cues, research shows it's associated with lower levels of disordered eating and dieting behaviors. So the goal, once again, and I sound like a record on repeat, is not perfection. The goal is about a calm, balanced relationship with food.
[00:03:43] But why do we lose this trust with food? Because we're not born with this distrust. It develops over time. And I've come up with a few things that I think really feed into this. One is the diet culture and food rules. And this is exactly why I created the program. Because I'm sick of seeing these strict diets out there that set people up for failure.
[00:04:05] Because you've got the narrative of cheat meals and foods being good or bad. You know, there are foods that you can't have. And when we label foods this way, they become emotionally charged and the forbidden foods become the ones that we obsess about the most.
[00:04:20] Number two is restriction. Restriction always backfires when the body feels deprived. It drives stronger cravings. And this is a biological survival response. It's not a failure. Ie, if I said to you, don't think of a red car, that's all you're thinking about right now. So if I say you can't have that chocolate, suddenly you're gonna probably want it. And obviously on the program we talk about having treat meals and encompassing those into your week. Because if you're going past the bakery and you see the donut and you think, oh God, I want that donut. Well, I want you to think, well, yes, I can have it. When would you like it? Are you gonna have it today? Is that gonna be your Treat meal, are you gonna plan it into your week? But yes, you can have it and it changes your not helpless when it comes to that.
[00:05:05] Number three is emotional eating. Many people use food for comfort, stress relief or boredom. Food gets tied to emotions rather than hunger. We're not usually hungry when we're eating out of our emotions.
[00:05:19] And think about it, did your mum or significant person in your life ever treat you if you fell over? Or was pudding like a prize for eating a full plate of dinner? I always remember my nan used to say, right, eat all your dinner and then you can get your pudding, otherwise there's no pudding. And we used to have qu large meals. When I think back, my mum used to make sure that we weren't going unfed and I would force myself to eat all of my dinner just so I could get pudding afterwards. I'd be full, I'd be stuffed, but I would still make room for that pudding. And even today I never like to leave food on my plate. I mean now I know what my portion sizes are relevant for me and I dish up smaller portions, but I've still got that kind of mentality, which is good really as well because I don't like to see any food going to waste.
[00:06:07] And number four, is that all or nothing thinking now that was definitely me. I'd have one cookie and think, well that is it, the whole day's ruined, I've had the cookie, I might as well carry on with the whole pack now. And this mindset is so common, but it's also completely unnecessary because one biscuit is just one biscuit. And when you think about that one biscuit over a week, it's not going to derail your goals, it's not going to send you off track.
[00:06:34] Number five is perfectionism and self criticism. Now research shows that self criticism is strongly linked to binge eating behavior, while self compassion helps to reduce them. So when we constantly judge ourselves around food, it actually fuels that cycle. So these are the common things that I've seen over the years. That's all well and good, but how do we lay the foundations now to build that self trust with food? Well, it starts with one very important shift and that is to know that there are no good or bad foods.
[00:07:05] Food is simply food. It doesn't come with any emotions. Some foods nourish our bodies more.
[00:07:11] Some foods are purely for enjoyment. They're not going to give you anything in say if it's a donut or a packet of chips or what have you, they're not really going to give you anything nutritionally, they're not going to benefit your body. But did you enjoy it? Yes. So emotionally you've enjoyed it and that's it, you move on. Both of those have a place in a balanced life. Because when we remove that moral judgment around food, something really interesting happens. The obsession about it starts to fade. And so I wanna share some tools that have really helped me over the years to rebuild my self trust with food. Number one is to stop banning foods. Allow foods in moderation. And if you do that, it removes their power. And you may notice that once you give yourself permission, you might not actually want them as much. And I always remember Easter as a kid. We used to have a little pile, a little stash of chocolate, each or four of us, me and my siblings, and I'd certainly get through that chocolate. I loved Easter, I love chocol.
[00:08:09] But I remember at the time thinking, oh, gosh, is it over yet? You know, I would just be eating it egg after egg, chocolate bar, you know, after chocolate bar. And I didn't actually want it because I had so much there. The appeal just wasn't there anymore. I still ate it, though.
[00:08:25] Number two is to focus on adding nourishing food. So let's think about what we're going to add into our diet instead of what we're restricting or what we're taking out.
[00:08:35] And if you place a focus on things like protein, more fibre, more whole foods, when the body's properly nourished, those cravings naturally reduce. Number three is practice mindful eating.
[00:08:48] Ah, gosh, I speak about this all the time. So try not to eat on the run, try not to eat in front of the tv, because how many times have you been eating and watching something really cool on Netflix and you look at your plate and you think, oh, my God, where did that go? You know, you don't even register you've eaten your dinner. So I really do. Even if you can't do it at every meal, try and bring in a few meals a week where you can stop.
[00:09:11] Be mindful with your food, look at what's on your plate, slow down, you taste your food, chew thoroughly and notice when you start to feel satisfied but not full.
[00:09:22] And just that one thing, we're not even changing the food that's on your plate. We're just being more mindful. And we're reconnecting with our dinner time or lunchtime, whatever it might be, has a huge impact. And it also helps your digestion, digestive system as well. If you slow down and you give Your body the signal that now is the time to eat. Digestive enzymes come into play and it's really good for your digestive health as well, which I spoke about last time last week in last week's episode. Number four is to change your self talk. Now this one is huge and it was for me. I want you to notice how you speak to yourself after eating. My self talk was very negative back in the day and it was for years.
[00:10:01] Instead of thinking, oh I've blown it, now I'll just eat the whole packet. Try that meal, didn't feel great, what can I learn from that? So it's about stopping and really being mindful with that. Because self compassion is a powerful tool for improving eating behaviour and also improving your body image as well.
[00:10:19] And lastly number five is to pause before eating emotionally. So this is different from pausing to eat. This is when you feel like you're gonna eat out of emotions. And one tool I sometimes suggest when someone feels the urge to eat out and out of their emotions is the HALT method. H A L T. So it's simply a quick pause where you ask yourself four questions. Am I hungry? There's your H. Am I angry? Your A or it could be any other emotion. Am I lonely? Am I tired? Because these four things can often lead to us eating out of our emotions. And what feels like a food craving is actually something else going on underneath. Maybe you've had a stressful day, maybe you're feeling a bit low or bored, maybe you're exhausted and your brain is looking for that quick burst of energy.
[00:11:07] Because food temporarily soothes those feelings, but it doesn't solve the root cause. So that HALT method automatically creates a moment of awareness. So before just reaching for those foods, pause and ask yourself, am I actually hungry right now or do I need something else? Do I need rest or connection? Do I need to step outside and get some fresh air? Or do I just need a break? And sometimes after asking those questions, you might still decide to eat the chocolate and that's okay too. The goal isn't to create another rule around food.
[00:11:39] The goal is simply to bring that awareness back into the moment so that that food becomes a conscious choice rather than an automatic reaction.
[00:11:47] And the more you practice that pause, the more you rebuild trust with yourself around food. It worked so well for me. It didn't happen overnight, but it does happen. You've just got to keep doing that, keep coming back to that awareness. You might not do it every time, you might forget sometimes and that's okay. But bring that Awareness in and also keeping your long term goal in mind is important too. Because that one moment with a slip up with food doesn't define your entire health journey. It's your habits over the months and the years that are really important.
[00:12:20] We are a result of what we constantly do every day, every week, every year. One biscuit, one piece of cake, or even one packet of biscuits now and again is not going to derail your entire progress.
[00:12:34] So talking about slip ups, what happens? Because hey, everyone slips up sometimes. And especially if you're new on this journey, you're not going to get it right all the time.
[00:12:44] And there will be times when you might emotionally eat, you might have that whole packet of biscuits or the whole pizza and your old mindset is going to say, well, I've ruined it now. But that is not true. Your body doesn't work on a single meal system. It works on patterns over time. So instead of punishment, just move on from the very next meal. Get back to normal. Forget the pizza, it's in the past. One pizza over the week is not going to affect your weight loss or health journey. But a whole day of eating poorly certainly will have a negative impact.
[00:13:15] And the real goal isn't about eating perfectly, it's about food freedom, where you can enjoy healthy foods, enjoy treats, listen to your body, trust yourself.
[00:13:26] We talk about treats each week and I don't want you to have any guilt around those treats because if there's still guilt then it's not gonna right for you.
[00:13:34] So it's about enjoying those treats and just moving on. Live your life without food controlling your thoughts.
[00:13:42] So I have a little exercise for you and you might want to grab a pen and paper because we're going to start rewriting your food story. So take a moment and think about food that you feel you cannot control yourself around. For me, it would probably be something like some Tim Tams, which are really yummy New Zealand biscuits, especially the white chocolate ones.
[00:14:01] Although I can control myself around them now. But once upon a time, gosh, you know, if I had one of those, that would be it for me. Story over.
[00:14:10] So write down the first thought that comes to mind about that particular food. You might think, oh, I can't stop once I start. You might be thinking, I've got no willpower with this, or some people can't even have those foods in the house. So you might be thinking, I cannot have that in the cupboard.
[00:14:27] But now I want you to rewrite that thought into something more empowering. For example, if the old thought is I can't control myself around that food. The new thought might be, I'm learning to enjoy that food without it controlling me. Another example, the old thought might be, I'm going to eat the whole packet. A new thought could be, I can choose how much I eat and I will stop when I'm satisfied.
[00:14:50] And that self trust starts changing. The story we tell ourselves, our brain tends to act in line with our beliefs. It's like a computer and it believes what you feed into it. Which is exciting because this means that you can rewrite your story at any time. Because these thoughts that are going on in your head are simply that they're a story. They're not real. These are a story that we're telling ourselves. So if that's the case, we can change that. And if we believe we're out of control, we will behave that way. But if we begin to believe that we can trust ourselves, our behavior gradually starts to follow.
[00:15:26] So our final thought for today. If you've ever lived your life believing you have no discipline around food, that was definitely me for many years. The problem was never you. It was probably restrictive eating rules. And when I think about it, before I was bulimic, I had started my first diet at age 11. I became bulimic in my teens. So I'd already had lots of restrictive rules around food. I'd done all the diets, and back in the day, it was the low fat era and I've done them all. So by the time I got there, I'd already placed those restrictions and that belief system was there that food was good or bad.
[00:16:03] And when you remove those pressures, like you've got to be perfect all the time, you can't have those foods, something amazing starts to happen. Food stops being the enemy. It becomes a positive and enjoyable part of your life again. Because let's face it, food is the central part of everything. Everybody I know loves food. I love food. You get married, you have parties, there's a celebration of some sort. It's always centered around food. So we need to enjoy our food. And that's the goal here in this program. It's not eating perfectly. It's not about constant restriction. It's about learning to nourish your body with those whole foods most of the time while also enjoying the foods that you love. Because true health includes freedom. And the more you practice that balance, the more trust you build with yourself.
[00:16:53] So if you've struggled with this over the years, I would love to hear from you. Please do reach out to me if you're still. Still struggling with this. Now, it's really important that you use the coaching as part of this program and reach out, because I'm here for you. I've lived it myself. I've overcome it. And I've been years now without that all or nothing mentality and that emotional link to food. And so I really would love to help you reach out. You know how to get hold of me on the WhatsApp group. You can email me, you can message me on Facebook, messenger, whatever's easiest for you. Please do reach out. I am there for you. This is what the program is all about, is about making it work for you.
[00:17:33] So that's me for this week. Have a lovely day, and I look forward to seeing you again next week.
